Bleak House
by King in Yellow
Summary: Sequel to the unfortunate Hard Times. Kim is hit with a paternity suit. That is only the beginning as the courts attempt to resolve suits and counter suits. Only the lawyers look happy. NOT BEST ENEMIES UNIVERSE.
1. Chapter 1 If the Suit Doesn't Fit

This has nothing whatsoever to do with my Best Enemies stories. NOTHING. And in case you missed it the first two times, NOTHING! I wrote the original Hard Times in response to a captioned screencap at Slashhaven. It was a fast little knock-off. And I was amazed when it actually received a number of requests for a sequel. My better judgment said no sequel -- better to leave things the way they were. This demonstrates how well I listen to my better judgment. It is a trait I share with the characters in this story. Both titles, Hard Times and Bleak House, are taken from novels by Charles Dickens. Actually, the first title was a mistake; it should have been called Bleak House, the title of a novel which deals with a hideously complex law suit. By happy accident that actually fits the second story better than the first. Should there be a need for a third story, and I assure you there will not be, the title would be Oliver Twist. 

Sampson Brass is from The Old Curiosity Shop, by Dickens. The names of most other OCs are from Bleak House.

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 1 - If the Suit Doesn't Fit, You Must Acquit**

"Any news on Shego," Kim asked hopefully.

"The same news I've had for the last five months," Wade responded.

"None?"

"Glad you could remember the answer. You know you're driving me crazy, Kim. You've been asking for information on Shego three or four times a week. I keep wondering, why?"

"I told you. She didn't sound very good the last time we talked. She even mentioned possibly committing suicide."

"And I ask you again, why do you care? I mean, I hate to think of anyone killing themself, but you two do nothing but fight. It's not like you had anything to do with it if she killed herself is there?"

"No, hehe," Kim's nervous laugh was totally lacking in sincerity. "Wade. You scan the whole world, don't you? If you can't find her, does that mean she's dead?"

"I can sort of scan the whole world, but you have to remember the world is a big place. Unless you give me a specific place to search I can't just find a particular person on the whole planet. I look for things like using cell phones or credit cards to give me a clue. She hasn't done any of that. I've found no evidence she's still alive."

"So, she's dead?"

Kim's voice sounded so stressed Wade took pity on her, "I didn't say that. If she's somewhere and not using credit cards or her cell phone -- paying cash and sending snail mail -- I wouldn't be able to track her. There are a lot of places where you can drop from electronic sight. Monkey Fist is good at it."

'"Okay," Kim said sadly. "I'll contact you in a day or so."

_"The answer is going to be the same,"_ Wade thought as he broke the link with her Kimmunicator.

Kim discovered Shego was still alive that evening. She was doing homework when the doorbell rang. A minute later her mom's voice came up the stairs, "Kim, you have company."

She recognized the man in uniform, "Deputy Bucket, what can I do for you?" Kim assumed he needed her testimony for some crime she had stopped.

"Sorry, Kim," he apologized as he pulled a thick envelope out of his back pocket, "I'm here to serve you with notice."

Kim stared at the envelope, not sure what was happening, as the officer tipped his hat to Kim's mother and left.

"What was that all about," James Possible called from the living room.

"Kim was just served with some legal papers."

"What did you say?" he asked as he came into the hallway.

"I'm being sued or something, Dad." The three of them headed into the kitchen, where Kim took a knife from a drawer and slit open the top of the envelope. She took out the papers and started to read, she suddenly dropped the legal documents and stared ahead blankly.

"Kim? Kimmie-cub?" her dad said. He waved his hand in front of her face, but it elicited no response.

Kim's mother picked up the papers and began reading, "Oh, James, this is ridiculous!"

"What's ridiculous, dear?"

"Kim is named in a paternity suit! Shego is demanding child support when her baby is born."

"WHAT?"

"I'm just reading the legal papers. This is some sort of nuisance suit. I can't believe the courts would even bother to let such a claim be filed."

James breathed a little sigh of relief, "You're right. The court won't even bother with it." He turned to his daughter, "Whatever possessed her to even file an empty claim like that?" Kim was still not responding. "Kim? Kim?" He took her by the arm and gently shook it. "Kim? Do you hear me?"

She snapped to attention, "Huh, sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you think Shego is losing her mind. Naming you in a paternity suit? I mean; it's ridiculous."

"There is a chance it's true."

"WHAT?" her mother and father said together.

"Do you remember when I went over to China about seven months ago?"

"Yes," her father answered.

"Well, I ended up sleeping with Shego."

"Babies don't happen from people sleeping together," her mother reminded her.

Kim was blushing furiously, "Okay, we did more than sleep. We had sex, and I didn't take any precautions…"

Her mother still looked blank, but angry, "Let me get this straight, leaving aside the fact you are both women and therefore it is impossible for one of you to end up pregnant, YOU HAD UNPROTECTED SEX WITH YOUR WORST ENEMY?"

"It's not my fault. She told me it was safe--"

"YOU HAD UNPROTECTED SEX WITH YOUR WORST ENEMY BECAUSE SHE TOLD YOU IT WAS SAFE?"

"Mom, you're hyperventilating."

"JAMES! YOU TALK WITH HER!" Kim's mother stalked out of the kitchen.

"Kimmie?"

"It's a long story, Dad. See, at this training ground in China there are magical springs--"

"Magical springs?"

"The water kind of springs, not the Slinky™ kind. Anyway, I fell in one…

Halfway through the story her father rested his face in his hands.

"So you're telling me that… that you might be the father of Shego's baby?"

"I don't know Dad… It's so… I'm not even sure she is pregnant.

"Paternity test," he muttered, "She'll have to submit to a paternity test." He'd never thought Kim would take the family motto so seriously.

"Can I finish the story?"

"Sure," he said in a hollow voice, "any chance of a happy ending?"


	2. Chapter 2 Trial by Tabloid

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 2 - Trial by Tabloid**

The lawsuit was a matter of court, and therefore public, record. But the charge seemed too ludicrous for responsible journalists to pay attention to the claim. But not all journalists are responsible. James Possible stopped to pick up a couple items at the supermarket on his way home when the tabloids in the checkout line caught his attention.

**Virgin Heroine Named in Paternity Suit**

read a headline in National Tattler. The US Gnus was even more lurid, and specific, with its:

**Villainess Demands Child Support from Kim Possible.**

He bought all the copies of both tabloids in his checkout lane. But there were other checkout lanes and other supermarkets in town. When Kim arrived in school the next day copies of both articles were taped up to her locker.

"Kim, could you try and bring some positive media attention to Middleton for a change?" Bonnie remarked when she stopped by Ron and Kim's table at lunch.

"Leave her alone, Bonnie," Ron warned. "Any crazy person can file a law suit. It's not Kim's fault."

"But she seems to attract the loons… This Shego woman, that Drakken guy, Ron Stoppable. It's like she's some sort of loser magnet." She left, chuckling, before Ron could come up with a retort.

---

On the Tonight Show Jay asked, "Say, Kevin, you remember Kim Possible being on our show, don't you?"

"Oh, sure. Sweet kid. Didn't she save the world or something?"

"Well, she was named in a paternity suit yesterday." There was a small snicker from the audience.

"A paternity suit?"

"Stupid criminals, probably trying to blackmail her or something. This is why we need better sex education in the schools. This woman, I think her name is Shego, thinks she could get pregnant by sleeping with a woman."

Kevin and the audience laughed politely. Jay adjusted his tie and raised an eyebrow. "I've seen pictures of this Shego, and I'd be willing to give her some 'hands-on' education." More laughter came from the audience.

"Uh, Jay," Kevin pointed out, "hands-on doesn't work for the pregnant part either." The loudest laughter during the monologue followed.

---

Three days later Bonnie greeted Kim with a smirk on her face and a new edition of the National Tattler in her hands. "My, but you have been busy. When did you find time to lead cheers and save the world?" She held up the tabloid for Kim to see.

**Three More Women Charge Kim Possible with Rape!**

"Let me see that," Kim demanded.

"You can keep it if you want. I bought five copies," Bonnie told her, handing the paper over.

"It's no wonder you're failing social studies if you read garbage like this," Kim muttered. "Look at the articles in here, 'Bat Boy Recruited by Al Qaida,' 'Hitler Alive and Living on the Moon,' "US Winning War in Iraq,' and 'Lose Thirty Pounds in Ten Days on the Dead Sea Scrolls Diet.'

Ron had wandered up as Kim examined the tabloid, "C'mon, Bonnie, you know they're just trying to make Kim look ridiculous."

"Like she needs any more help with that than you hanging around her and what she calls her sense of style," the brunette sneered. "Ta-ta."

---

E! arranged an interview with Dr. Drakken in prison. He had been arrested soon after Shego left.

"I can't say I'm surprised--" Drakken began to tell the interviewer.

"You can't say you're surprised at a woman filing a paternity suit against another woman?"

"Don't be so dogmatic about conventional wisdom. When you've been in mad science as long as I have a thing like that is nothing. I've seen brain switches, brought dinosaurs back to life, ridden flying saucers, and been sucked into the world of cable television. A woman making another woman pregnant? Bah, nothing."

"So, did what you call mad science have anything to do with this lawsuit?"

"Nothing that had to do with me. But I'm hardly the only one around -- just the best. Kim even has one she--"

"So, why weren't you surprised?" the reporter interrupted Drakken's rambling.

"Well, Kim Possible obviously had a thing for Shego. She would track us down, even when I wasn't planning anything, so she could jump on Shego and roll around on the floor with her. A few weeks before she left me Shego had taken a few days of personal leave. She said she went over to Asia or someplace to train. Did Kim Possible come after me -- the brilliant scientist bent on world domination? Nooo, she traveled half way around the world to attack Shego while the poor woman was taking a break." Drakken sounded miffed that he had been ignored. "Poor Shego came back exhausted, said Kim had kept her up all night."

"And would that have been when the alleged incident took place."

"I hadn't… Well… I guess it's possible."

Ron and Monique tried to cheer Kim up during lunch the next day. "C'mon, KP, he's a convicted felon. Who's going to believe him?"

"Yeah, girl. Everybody with a brain just treats it like a joke."

"And that thing about going to Japan to be with Shego. He had to be making that up. If you'd gone to Japan I know you'd have taken me along."

"I didn't go to Japan, Ron."

"Yeah, just what I said. Drakken was just blowing hot air when they stuck a camera--"

"I went to China."

"What!" Monique and Ron said together.

There was a moment's silence before Ron spoke again. He sounded hurt, "You really went to China without me? To fight Shego?"

Kim pushed her tray back, laid her head on the table and covered her head with her hands, "Well, we fought for part of the time," she mumbled.

"Part of the time?" Monique asked sharply. "This is gettin' weird, GF, what were the two of you doing the rest of the time."

Before Kim could answer her pocket emitted a --Beep Beep Be Beep--

Kim answered the page with gratitude, "Wade, Please tell me you have something good for me."

"Well, I've been able to follow the paper trial. Would you consider a location for Shego good news?"

Kim smiled at her friend on the tiny screen, "You rock, Wade."


	3. Chapter 3 Weekend in Havana

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Weekend in Havana was a 1941 movie starring the incomparable Alice Faye and some other people. It doesn't matter what other people. It had Alice Faye. Deep sigh.

I know FF.N's alerts are messed up, but more people have read this than creativetoo -- although no one can tell that from the reviews. BTW, creativetoo, that's why I've not sent you a review response with thanks. C'mon people, if she's the only one who cares enough to review I'll just send her the last nine chapters and be done with it.

**Chapter 3 - Weekend in Havana**

"Excuse me," Kim told Ron and Monique, "I'm taking this call in the hallway. I don't, uh, want to risk Bonnie listening in."

Monique and Ron looked at each other, then looked around for Bonnie after Kim left the table. Bonnie was nowhere close to them.

Out in the hall Kim quickly got back in touch with Wade, "Okay, what's happening?"

"Kim, Shego is in Cuba."

"You sure?"

"Positive, once she started talking with a lawyer she started leaving a trail. I've got two possible addresses for her."

"Got a ride for me?"

"Yeah, but you're not going to like it."

"Is there room for Ron?"

"Do you really want him going with you?"

Kim chewed her lip nervously, "Would you think I was an awful person if I said no?"

"Nah, I'm not sure Ron wants to ride with them anyway."

---

"All right, Miss, we need to drop our tracts and New Testaments now." He shouted over the noise in the small plane's cabin. "I'll make a second pass and you can jump. Oh, I never did get a name for you."

"Kim, Kim Possible."

"Kim Possible? Why don't you just jump first Miss. I don't want you handling my tracts."

_"Like I want to handle his tracts,"_ Kim grumbled as she floated to earth under the canopy of her parachute. She could see a couple jeeps with soldiers on the road below, but steered her chute into a dense section of foliage and eluded them before starting the long walk into Havana.

"How am I doing, Wade?" the footsore Kim asked a couple hours later.

"According to the GPS you're about a mile from a possible location. I can guide you in."

A half hour later Kim was casing a dilapidated Russian era apartment block. It was depressing to think that Shego could have been reduced to staying in such a place. Kim hoped the pale woman would be at the other location, it had to be better than this.

She got in the building without any trouble. Only half the lights worked in the hallway, and neither of the elevators. Wade said an apartment on the fourth floor had been rented at the right time. Kim tried to ignore the smell in the stairwell as she climbed to the fourth floor, _"Please, don't let Shego be living here,"_ she repeated over and over as she went up.

The lighting wasn't any better on the forth floor, but a bulb near one door at the middle of the long hall still worked. It allowed Kim to see the name card on the door, with the single word "Go" written on it.

Kim stared at the door for a minute, then summoned up enough courage to knock timidly.

"Who is it?" a familiar voice called from inside.

"It's Kim… Can we talk?"

"Princess? Always time for you… Give me a minute, I'm not moving very fast these days." After what seemed like hours Kim heard Shego unbolt the lock and slide back the chain, "Welcome to my humble abode."

Humble was a more noble term than the apartment deserved. "You live here?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, I was lucky to get an apartment with a private bathroom. It even has a toilet seat on the john. Those are in short supply in Cuba." She shuffled back to the dilapidated couch. Kim took in the little there was to see in the apartment with a glance. Mostly she stared at Shego. Her pregnancy had taken off some of the harsher edges, she seemed softer, more vulnerable. Kim felt a wave of guilt if she had done this, she still had trouble believing it was true. "If you're here for a fight I apologize, but you've left me in no condition to defend myself."

"Why here? There have got to be better places you could have gone."

"Yeah, it's a dump, isn't it," Shego remarked as she glanced around. "But Cuba has no extradition treaty with the US. And, as you can tell, I'm not in shape for either fight or flight at the moment. Hey, I've got some fruit juice in the 'fridge. Help yourself to anything then sit down," Shego said, gesturing to a chair so rickety Kim feared it might be a death trap.

Kim was glad to find lots of juice and no beer or wine in the refrigerator, but shocked at how little food there was in the apartment. "Are you eating all right?"

"Usually. I don't cook much these days, don't like standing for long periods and they don't have microwaves. I sit down when I teach."

"You teach?"

"Yeah, some English classes. They want to speak good like me do."

As Kim went towards the chair Shego grimaced in pain and Kim moved towards her, "Are you all right?"

"Your little present to me is going to be a kick boxer or a soccer player," Shego said, pushing Kim's offered hand away.

"So you're really pregnant?"

Shego stared at Kim in amazement, then pointed to her belly, "No, I swallowed a watermelon whole for breakfast this morning," she answered sarcastically.

"But you said that I couldn't--"

"I was wrong," Shego snarled. "I was wrong about a lot of things. I thought you were going to express your real feelings about--"

"STOP!" Kim commanded. "You confuse me."

"I confuse you?" Shego asked in a mocking tone, "God almighty, you confuse me Possible. Now get out if that's all you have to say."

"The lawsuit, I wanted to know about that."

Another spasm of pain seemed to wrack Shego. She took a minute to regain her composure, then laughed at Kim's question, "Oh yeah, you need to take some responsibility for your actions. See you in court. Or, more accurately, my lawyers will see you in court."

Shego struggled to get off the couch. Kim's heart went out to her and she went over to help the pale woman to her feet, "Get away from me," Shego snarled, ignoring Kim. After she finally rose she shuffled to the door and pointed to the hall. "Out!"

Kim hesitated, wishing she knew what to say, "Out, now!" Shego ordered again.

The red haired woman left. Wade had already given her directions to the Canadian Embassy. She would leave on a flight to Toronto, then take a flight from Canada home later that evening.

In the dingy apartment Shego leaned back against the door and smiled. During Kim's visit a dozen concealed cameras had taken hundreds of pictures, some of which could be used in an incriminating way. Now that Kim had been here she could move back to the luxury hotel where she usually stayed. She looked the place over, the American media would soon be clamoring for interviews, and this place would definitely earn a lot of sympathy for her back home.

As she prepared to leave she suddenly doubled over in pain. "Couldn't manage it while your daddy was here," she gasped to the child in her womb, "but as soon as she goes out the door you have to kick for real. You're just like her."


	4. Chapter 4 Happy Days in School

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 4 - Happy Days in School**

"What was the mission you were on two days ago?" her father demanded as soon as Kim got home from school.

"I was--"

Before she had a chance to say more he held a copy of the National Tattler up in front of her, "Did it have anything to do with this?"

Three-quarters of the front page was taken up with a photo of Shego, grimacing with pain on the couch in the tiny Havana apartment. Kim stood over Shego, her face partially hidden by her red hair so it was impossible to tell what her expression was. The headline took the rest of the space: **Hero Threatens Lover!** Once the headline put the idea in readers' minds the implications of the picture were clear. The reader would believe the pregnant woman had been threatened, perhaps even hit.

Kim wanted desperately to believe that no one would pay attention to a source like the Tattler. Reality intruded its ugly head into her fantasy world as soon as she got to school. Shortly after she arrived in home room the intercom crackled into life, "Kim Possible, Please report to Mr. Barkin's office

The secretary waved Kim back to the vice-principal's office. She opened the door to find Mr. Barkin and Ms. Smallweed, the girl's PE teacher in conference.

"We've had calls of complaints from the parents of some of the girls in your PE classes. They, uh, do not want their daughters to be attending gym classes with you," Mr. Barkin rumbled.

Ms. Smallweed continued, "And, well, given the notoriety attached to the law suit you will not be able to perform with the cheerleaders for the rest of the school year."

There were only a few baseball games left in the Middleton High season, but being dropped from the squad still hurt. The evening brought more problems for Kim. The call from the Cuban mission to the UN in New York came about suppertime. Kim had violated the boundaries of the sovereign nation of Cuba and an arrest warrant had been issued for her. Since Cuba had no extradition treaty with the US it posed no threat to Kim, just a propaganda point for Cuba on how the US ignored international law.

The call from the US State Department an hour later was more serious. They didn't like journalists going to Cuba, and her vigilante mission was totally irresponsible. Her passport would no longer be recognized until she had a hearing on the matter.

US Gnus and even legitimate newspapers carried brief articles on it the next day.

**Cuba Charges Kim Possible with Spying**

was a typical headline. Apparently Shego had sent photos to a number of papers across the country. Only the Tattler had run it initially, but with the accusation from Cuba and a harsh public statement from the State Department various papers called to ask if the photos were real. While denying the context in which the photo had appeared in the tabloid Kim reluctantly confessed that the pictures were real and had been taken in Cuba.

Shego's initial court filing had only attracted the attention of the lunatic fringe. Kim's foray into Cuba brought the attention of more legitimate news groups. The fact Kim had risked the illegal trip suggested something was going on.

While the State Department restricts travel by US nationals to Cuba as much as possible, it can't stop it completely. Several media companies informed the State Department that reporters would be going to Havana via Canada or Mexico for a story on a former US hero.

The reporters expected to meet a raving loon, but instead they found the pale woman both surprising and charming despite the circumstances to which she had been reduced. Despite her insistence that her pregnancy had been caused by another woman she appeared to be entirely rational.

While they could not take her claim seriously she represented a wonderful human interest story.

**Former Hero Living in Poverty in Cuba!**

was the headline that most papers ran over the AP story.

"She's a former hero now?" Ron asked, puzzled as he read the story.

"Well, she really was a hero," Kim reminded him.

"Yeah, but why not say current villain?"

The odd part of the story, for the media, was where Kim Possible fit in. If Shego's claim was nonsense, and everyone knew it had to be, why had Kim traveled to Cuba to confront her foe? The calls from legitimate media sources started to come in, asking if Kim was willing to make a statement or give an interview. The answer was a standard, "No."

Deputy Bucket was back at Kim's house that evening.

"Another law suit?" Anne Possible asked when she answered the door.

"Sorry, no ma'am. Court order this time."

"A court order? Give it to me and I'll--"

"Sorry, my job is to give it personally to Kim."

She went to the foot of the stairs and called up, "Kim? Deputy Bucket is here with more papers for you."

Neither Kim nor her parents were surprised to find a restraining order in the envelope when Kim opened it. It ordered Kim to remain at least one hundred yards away from Shego unless both were in the presence of their lawyers.

"That does it, I'm calling Bob Vholes in the morning," James Possible declared.

"Bob Vholes?" Kim asked.

"Family lawyer," her mother explained. "We don't need him much. But Kim, before you even think about seeing Shego again you had better let him talk you out of it."

**Former Hero Served with Restraining Order**

was the headline over a small article on the front page of the Middleton Examiner the next day.

"Cool," was Ron's comment. "So, KP, you filed a lawsuit to keep her from trashing your reputation?"

"You didn't read the paper, did you Ron?" she asked in a dull voice.

"Well, no, not really. How did you know?"

"Because they aren't calling Shego a former hero in the article, it's what they're calling me."


	5. Chapter 5 Pardon Me?

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 5 - Pardon Me?**

The conservative media, desperate to report as little real news as possible, had a field day with the story about Shego. The lawsuit against Kim had just enough hint of lurid sex for the morally upright to demand they see more of the 'horrible' story.

In one of her interviews from her squalid Havana apartment Shego sighed deeply and expressed the wish she could return home, "… but I know I'd have to pay for my crimes," she rubbed her hand over her stomach, "and I couldn't bear to be separated from my baby."

Ratings for the interview were astronomical, and planted the idea Shego wanted in the listeners' minds. Calls for a presidential pardon began almost immediately.

People Shego had helped during her brief stint as a hero were interviewed on the national news. Team Go received enough media attention to flatter even Mego, and while he hated talking about his sister it kept the cameras on him. He became the family spokesman for giving Shego another chance. Members of Congress were deluged with mail demanding Shego be helped.

With polls showing the American public firmly on the side of a pardon politicians began to express their shock that a former American hero would be forced to give birth in a third world country. (None of them mentioned the fact that lack of national health care meant the US had the highest infant mortality rate in the industrial world and that a higher percentage of babies born in Cuba survived to adulthood.) The junior senator from her home state of Illinois, eager for publicity for his own presidential campaign, appeared with Mego in a few interviews.

At a White House staff meeting the President's brain suggested a pardon would be a good idea.

"But I'm a law and order President, aren't I?"

"As long as it doesn't involve crimes by your own administration or big business, yes."

"So why would I pardon her again?"

Karl sighed and tried to find words small enough for the President of the US to understand, "It detracts public, the people's, the voters' attention, care, concerns away from you."

"Oh… And why do I want that again?"

"Well, the mission was not accomplished in Iraq, our educational policy gets a failing grade, world opinion of the US is hitting the crapper, the housing market has hit the skids, and the dollar is looking shaky."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Not at all. Your friends in the oil industry just had the biggest profits in the history of the world, the gap between the super rich and poor is now the greatest it's ever been since the Depression, and it's been almost two years since the Vice President shot anyone."

"Oh, good. Everything's fine then." It was an extraordinarily good day for the President of the US and a thought entered his head, "Hey, and if I pardon her people will see me as a mercifier, right?"

"Yes, Mr. President," Karl assured him, "everyone will see you as a mercifier. There's a baseball game on the TV, why don't you watch it? I'll let you know how your meeting comes out."

After extracting the President of the US from the coat closet in the Oval Office and ushering him out the proper door Karl got on the phone, "Condi? Got a job for you. … No, this one can be done. … Yeah, be nice to have something work out right. … Look, I'll send you the details on my Republican National Committee email account -- it's easier for me to claim I've deleted them by accident."

---

The majority of Shego's known crimes had been committed in the US. That made it relatively easy to exert the tiny bit of diplomatic pressure necessary for other countries to drop charges as well. It helped that the story was beginning to pick up some coverage by the world media. The BBC had yet to dignify the story with a word, but the Sun had offered either Shego or Kim an astronomical sum if they would agree to appear topless on page three. Both women declined the offer.

The public's attention was focused more on Shego herself than the lawsuit, which the vast majority of Americans regarded as an attention-grabbing hoax. Still, the image of an American hero in Cuban exile stirred patriotic sympathy. The increased demands for a pardon came at a price for Shego: increased demands for interviews.

The level of media attention was beginning to fray Shego's nerves. Years spent as a villain meant she didn't like a high profile, but she knew it was necessary for her to reach her goal. The bigger problem was that the constant interviews -- all needing to be given cheerfully -- meant she had to stay in the dump. She missed the amenities of her luxury suite, but she was becoming better known around town and didn't want to take the risk of being observed moving from one residence to the other. With the changes her body was going through she wasn't able to slip in and out of windows the way she used to. She resolved to grit her teeth and stay in the dump until her plan fell apart or succeeded.

On a positive note, she was taking on a slightly haggard look in her interviews. Fans in the US noticed and the calls for a pardon only intensified

Finally, as the cameras rolled during an interview, the personality (it wasn't clear if she could be called a reporter) asked, "Shego?"

"Yes, Kelly?"

"If I could tell you, and our viewers, right now that you had a full pardon for your past crimes and could return to the US, what would you say?"

Shego closed her eyes and effected a wan smile, "I'd say, please don't tease me with hypothetical questions like that."

"Well, Shego, it's true. The State Department knew we had this interview set up and allowed us to be the first to break the news publicly. Shego, you should be coming home tomorrow!"

The smile which lit up the pale woman's face was genuine, "Kelly, that would be the answer to a lot of prayers." Technically it wasn't a lie. Shego had given up prayer years ago, but there must have been someone praying for her to get the pardon.

"Now, Shego, we're still negotiating with the State Department for special permission. But we are hoping to have permission to send a charter flight from Miami to Havana tomorrow to bring you home. And it looks like your brother, Hego, will come to escort you!"

Shego was careful not to take the smile off her lips. You had to accept the bad news along with the good.


	6. Chapter 6 Returning Home

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 6 - Returning Home**

The next day two networks and three cable stations had cameramen in Havana as an ancient taxi arrived at the airport. There were about a dozen reporters and photographers from magazines and newspapers as well. The massive form of Hego came out first from the cab. He bent over and gave his sister a hand to help her out.

The small crowd of journalists cheered as Shego emerged from the taxi. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing Hego was there, she appreciated having his arm to lean on. And next to his huge frame she looked tiny and frail -- not a bad image for evoking sympathy from the American public. Her eyes were red from crying. "I… I… don't know how to express my gratitude to the President and the American people," Shego said for the cameras, daubing her eyes with the handkerchief she had filled with bits of onion, "I will do my best to live up to the trust you have placed in me. Thank you."

Hego put his arm around his sister and escorted her onto the chartered plane, ending the interview photo-op. No one dared press the giant too closely as he guarded his little sister. Three print journalists were allowed to accompany Shego on the small charter. Fear of discovery forced her to ditch the onion-filled hankie. She didn't need it any more, the video with the tears would be broadcast that evening. Besides, the pardon had left her in far too good a mood for crocodile tears

"Why are you going to Middleton instead of Chicago?" the man from the Associated Press wanted to know.

"My lawsuit was filed in Middleton. I'm not sure how much I want to travel with a baby, so I'll rent an apartment in Middleton until after the trial is over."

"And you really think the courts are going to take a paternity suit against a woman seriously?" the woman journalist asked.

"I believe the courts will have to take it seriously after the genetic testing," Shego answered. "I've led a lonely life. Kim Possible took advantage of my loneliness, I…" she buried her face in her hands. _ "Damn I need the onion."_

"How do you respond to the polls that show most people think you are engaged in some sort of weird hoax?"

"I can't blame anyone for being skeptical of my story. I have trouble believing it myself, and I know it's true. My response is to wait for the genetic testing. I am perfectly willing to face prosecution if this is a hoax--"

"The penalty for which won't be nearly as bad as the crimes you were pardoned for," the AP man reminded her.

"They can bring those charges back if they want," Shego said, knowing they couldn't. "All I'd like is for people to keep their minds open to the possibility until there is proof."

---

Kim wasn't uncooperative, but neither did Bob Vholes find her helpful for her own case. He sat at the kitchen table with Kim and her parents for a session of planning strategy for the trial.

"Kim," he began, "in order for me to prepare the best case I can you have to be completely honest with me. Is that clear?"

She nodded.

"How old are you, Kim?"

"I'm eighteen."

"And where were you when the alleged sex occurred?"

"China."

"China?"

"Yeah. Is that good or bad?"

"Good for Shego, bad for you. You were of legal age in China. If you'd been seventeen when it happened, and in the US, we might have tried to charge her with statutory rape."

"Wait a minute, I could have charged her with statutory rape, even though I was the one who started it?"

"You started it?" her mother demanded.

"Well, two of the three times we had sex."

"Two of the three?" her father repeated in a hollow voice.

"James, I think we need to leave and let Kim talk with her lawyer alone. I don't think I can take any more honesty." Her parents left.

Her lawyer slowly ran his hands over his face. "Miss Possible, we're going to have to figure out a new strategy. The jury is not going to buy you as victim."

A couple days later an envelope fluttered out of Kim's locker when she opened it first thing in the morning. She tore it open along one edge and found a single sheet of unusually stiff paper, folded in half.

Kim,  
Can you meet me at the mall food court? 1:30?  
Shego

It meant cutting civics, but Kim wanted desperately to know what was happening. She left school after English and made it to the mall a little after one. Mall security was supposed to check for truants, but Kim avoided them and staked out the food court, hoping Shego would be there early. At 1:25 a very pregnant Shego entered the food area. She ordered an Orange Julius and moved to a small table, far more public than would have ever been her custom in her criminal days. Kim wished the other woman had chosen a less conspicuous spot, but ordered a soda for herself at another food stand and joined Shego.

"Just can't keep away from me, can you?" Shego smirked when Kim sat down.

"Drop it, Shego, you asked me to be here."

"Perhaps I did, Pumpkin, but you didn't have to come."

"Come on, please, you're messing up my life."

"I'm messing up your life?" Shego's laugh was long and bitter, "Funny, Possible, really funny. I can't do my work because--"

"You mean stealing? You're a thief, remember?"

"That was my job. And I had a great work ethic. But, no, someone had to knock me up and--"

"I can't believe it was me."

"You going to try denying you had sex with me?"

Kim hung her head. "No. I can't do that."

"Guess what, you're the only person I've been with in years. Which do you think would be the greater miracle, you as father or no father at all?"

"So, what do you want from me?"

"What do I want from you? That's a hell of a question. Everything… Nothing… I'm not even sure myself. You did this to me and--"

"Hold it right there, Miss Possible!" a voice shouted from the corner that marked the edge of the food court. Kim looked up, startled, and saw two policemen headed her way.

"Kimmie's in trouble now," Shego taunted.

"You asked me to see you!" Kim reminded her.

"Can you prove that?"

"I have your note in my backpack."

Shego smiled. "I doubt that. The chemicals on the note and envelope caused them both to crumble to dust a few minutes after you took the note out. But I'd be real careful about reaching into the back pack just now," the pale woman whispered, "they might think you are going for a weapon."

"I'm so glad you're here," Shego said warmly when the officers arrived at the table. "She must have been stalking me. I tried to keep her calm until my lawyer got here. What alerted you?"

"Your lawyer saw the two of you talking and gave us a call."

Shego faked a sigh of relief, "Good, I was afraid she would threaten me, or my lawyer."

"Sorry, Kim," an officer who knew her apologized, "but procedure is to handcuff you."

The look of hate Kim directed at Shego just caused the older woman to smile and convinced the two officers Kim had posed a threat to Shego. As they started to lead Kim away Shego's lawyer approached the table, "Are you all right, what happened?"

"I'm fine, Sam," Shego assured him, "someone thought she was above the law."

Kim was too far away to hear him say, "I also called the local paper; I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Shego laughed, "you couldn't have done it better if you were in on the plan."

He wondered what she meant. The Examiner cameraman was outside the entrance where the police car was parked and snapped a couple dozen images. The local TV crew didn't make it in time and had to buy stills from the paper.

**Kim Possible Violates Restraining Order**

The story appeared below the fold on the front page of the Middleton Examiner.

The judge let her off with a lecture on the dangers of truancy and the seriousness of a restraining order.

Kim's arrest was picked up by national media services and smaller stories ran in papers across the country, and it was mentioned on news reports on both radio and television. On a few radio talk shows some callers even raised the question if there could be any merit in Shego's paternity suit. For the most part it was still treated like a joke, but a growing number of people felt increasingly curious about what the paternity test would show.

As the time grew closer for her delivery Shego worked on mending fences with her family.

"Congratulations on avoiding the long arm of the law once again," Mego remarked sourly when he took her call. "Think you'll keep your nose clean now that you have a pardon?"

"Actually, yes."

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"Well, get ready to see it. And you've got a chance to make a bundle."

That caught her brother's attention, "How?"

"There is going to be a media frenzy when the brat is born--"

"More like the media turning on you for running a scam."

"I'm telling the truth. And when that comes out everyone is going to want to know about my Team Go years. And that's not just good publicity for me, it's also good for Team Go and you."

"Okay, I still don't believe you, but tell me more."

"Quickie books. Find some ghostwriter who can churn out ten thousand words a day. Get your version of the Team Go history together in the next couple weeks. The day the kid pops out your book will be pure gold."

"You're serious?"

"Dead serious. I've been working on my own book, 'My Years with Team Go.' I'm trying to give credit to you incompetents so I don't sound like an egomaniac. If you want yours to find a publisher you put emphasis on me. Call it, 'My Sister, the Hero,' or some crap like that. We'll both make millions."

Kim's high school graduation was not the celebration it should have been. She told herself she had not fought crime for personal recognition and fame, but she would have enjoyed a little. A few friends, like Ron and Monique, stood solidly with her. Bonnie and a few others who were jealous of her fame were always happy to assault her reputation. Too many students really didn't know her well. She had always been too busy with a range of activities and missions to form many close friendships. 'Aloof' and 'not very friendly' were some of the phrases her classmates used to describe her. An extraordinary number of flashes went off as she processed across the stage and received her diploma, but she wondered how the captions below the photos would read when the pictures appeared in the newspapers.


	7. Chapter 7 Miraculous Birth

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 7 - Miraculous Birth**

Shego's pregnancy became the _cause célèbre_ of Middleton. Some offices established betting pools for who the father would turn out to be. Dr. Drakken was the odds on favorite, with 'never established' being number two on the list, and 'a henchmen no one has heard of' coming in at number three. Kim, as the result of some mad science experiment came in just behind Ron Stoppable… Had Ron known of the betting pools he would probably have been upset not to place higher on the list. And, despite the fact she received regular examinations by an obstetrician, the idea the whole pregnancy was a hoax remained slightly more popular with the betting public than the proposition Kim could actually be the father by any sort of voluntary, non mad-science method.

National news had moved past Shego by the time she went into the hospital on a Thursday evening. Her departure from national and world news would not last long. Labor lasted through most of Friday, and early on Saturday morning a baby with dark hair and brilliant green eyes entered the world.

The birth certificate proved to be impossible to fill out. Shego refused to give a last name for herself or the baby girl, saying it would jeopardize the safety of her family. She even refused to give a real first name for herself, simply saying, "Shego is enough," and listing "Catherine," for the baby's name. For father's name she insisted the hospital put in "Kim Possible," which the hospital administration refused to do -- saying they would not be part of this publicity stunt and such a thing was impossible. Shego hoped the headlines on Monday would be '**Hero Stands By Family**' for her efforts to keep the family name secret, but things were already starting to move faster than even she could have predicted.

A small sample of the baby's blood was, of course, taken for typing. The hospital objected to the medical experts who were there for the paternity test, but court orders required them to be present when the blood was tested. An hour later the hospital lab erupted in chaos as various technicians denied their own findings. Those who were not present when the sample was taken insisted there was some sort of contamination of the sample, while those who were present when sample was taken insisting they had taken the sample correctly and someone in the chain of custody had to have switched the sample.

A fast call was placed to the head of neurosurgery in the hospital, "Dr. Possible?"

"Yes?"

"Can we have a blood sample?"

"Why?"

"Paternity test."

"Paternity test? You aren't treating that lawsuit like it has any merit, are you?"

"Well, the initial blood work on the baby showed two different sets of MtDNA--"

"That's impossible!"

"We know. But since the mitochondrial DNA comes completely from the mother, and we have Shego's DNA… I mean, since Kim's MtDNA will be exactly the same as yours, we'd like a sample of your blood."

"You'll be taking a second sample of the baby's blood?"

"Yes--"

"Not until I get there. I'll stay with you and give you a sample of my blood in the lab."

The baby girl was in the room with her mother, nursing, when a large contingent of medical personnel came in.

"What's this all about?" the pale woman demanded.

"Need a second blood sample from the baby. We're worried the first may have been contaminated."

"I don't want you turning my baby into a pin cushion," Shego protested.

"Nor do we want to do that to her," a woman voice came from the back of the crowd and Anne Possible pushed her way through. "But I want to make sure you aren't running some sort of con game."

"Look, Kitty, grandma," Shego pointed the red-haired woman out to the baby, "She doesn't love you." She kissed the little girl and reluctantly handed her to one of the medical workers. "Don't let her," she said, indicating Dr. Possible, "touch my baby."

"We won't, we don't want any chance of contamination."

Dr. Possible stared at the baby's green eyes, so much like Kim's, and wondered if this could actually be her granddaughter. Even with what she'd heard of Kim's the whole story still sounded like nonsense.

A technician, who had stripped to a tight t-shirt and shorts so there was no place to hide any other sample took the blood, then gave the crying baby to her mother, where she returned to the comfort of the breast. Medical technicians from the hospital, those from the media, and those hired by both sets of lawyers threw a cordon around the technician as they returned to the lab - everyone watching everyone else carefully. Back in the lab the small sample was divided among four teams, each representing a combination of technicians from different groups. Each found the same unique combination of mitochondrial DNA.

"Dr. Possible, we'll need a sample from you also."

After the miraculous presence of a double set of MtDNA Dr. Possible was not surprised an hour later to learn that one set matched her own.

"We'll need a blood sample from Kim to confirm the nuclear DNA matches her unique DNA and actually establish paternity for the courts - if it matches."

"That's quite all right, I understand." _"And it will match, I'm sure of that now."_

"Um, Dr. Possible," one of the medical technicians hired by a news channel asked, "would you make a comment about how--"

"No!" she snapped.

There was no point in trying to get any work done at the hospital that day. She'd seen her patients in the morning and now all anyone would talk about was the new baby. All she'd be able to think about was the baby so it was pointless to even attempt paperwork. She decided to go home early, but before leaving the hospital Anne Possible stopped in the maternity ward, she stared through the glass window into the newborn room. She knew, without asking, that the guard on the door would not let her enter. She couldn't take her eyes off the bassinet. It was her grandchild. _"Dear God, what have Kim and Shego done?"_

The lead story on the evening news, "Baby with two mothers born in Middleton hospital."

Even without the testing of the nuclear DNA all hell broke loose in the news media as reporters who had interviewed Shego in Cuba or since her return to the US dug out their notes for follow-ups.

Watching the news in bed with his wife that evening Sampson Brass swore as he heard the announcement. He wondered how he could have been so stupid as to promise Shego he would drop her fees by seventy-five percent if the DNA evidence supported her claims. His phone started ringing ten minutes later and he realized he had just become the most famous lawyer in Middleton.


	8. Chapter 8 Counter Suit

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 8 - Counter Suit**

Shego's brothers flew in to see their new niece. The photo session produced shots which appeared on at least a dozen magazine covers in the US and even more around the world. Some of the shots featured the brothers around the hospital bed, with Shego holding little Catherine. In other shots Hego or Mego held the baby while the Wegos knelt on the floor in front. While Shego wasn't ready to get back into her old uniform, she had apparently requested a slightly larger version of her costume and she managed to appear in uniform for a few shots, her smiling face softly brushing against the cheek of her infant daughter.

Hego, whose limited imagination had condemned the siblings to their nicknames heard his sister refer to baby Catherine as Kitty, and immediately hung the nickname Kigo on her. Shego would have been happy to forget the word, but a couple of the journalists seemed to like it and it appeared in news releases, becoming common in the week until Shego left the hospital.

**Hero Family Welcomes New Member** was a common headline in the papers which ran the photos. A couple newspapers speculated that the powers possessed by the members of Shego's family could be a factor in the seemingly miraculous birth.

Testing of the nuclear DNA to establish paternity had not been completed when Kitty's uncles came down to see her, but the presence of a double set of mitochondrial DNA put smiles on the faces of those who had backed the long shot in the betting pools. There were still a few Kim supporters who figured it was some sort of mad science plan by Drakken and the local hero would be vindicated, but probably more who remained convinced it was a hoax of some sort that had taken in everyone working in the lab. Shego's stay in the hospital was longer than normal, but the doctors had never seen a case quite like this one before and wanted to proceed cautiously. After the photo session with her brothers People magazine offered a million dollars for the exclusive right for photos during the next two months.

By the end of the week the paternity tests were completed, indicating Kim was the 'father'.

Anne Possible went down to the maternity ward several times each day. Extra security had been set up to keep the crowds from getting too large and interfering with the nurses. Because of her position in the hospital she was able to obtain a spot at the window and a nurse would hold the baby up for her to see. She brought her husband in for several of her visits. The hospital workers respected their privacy and didn't ask anything. The 'tourists' could get unpleasantly rude about demanding answers to what happened and the reporters only slightly less so.

Shego had rented a large apartment on her return to the US. Alice Badger, who moved in when Shego returned from the hospital, held the ostensible title of nanny -- but served in a larger capacity. The middle-aged Ms. Badger had been an evening anchor in a small market town whose call to a larger market never came. She dressed in the style of a woman half her age and had been botoxed until she could no longer smile at the inopportune moments so vital to the evening broadcasts.

Several news organizations which had semi-exclusive contracts with Shego were paying Ms Badger's salary, and she also functioned as media control for Shego. Some media coverage enhanced Shego's value, while others diminished it. Shego suspected the 'nanny' would also produce her own book, but couldn't begrudge anyone wanting to make money for herself -- especially if it meant there were fewer diapers for Shego to change.

Deputy Bucket enjoyed his job in law enforcement, although it seemed like he had little opportunity to perform his law enforcement duties these days. Serving court papers seemed to take an every increasing amount of his time. He rang the doorbell at the apartment and the nanny stared through the peephole in the door before opening it, chain still on.

"I have some papers for the woman called Shego, is she here?"

"Can I see some ID?"

"Isn't the uniform enough?"

"Not in the news business. I'm getting paid good money to make sure no one gets interviews without my employers' permission."

"How about I start with arresting you for interfering with an officer in the discharge of his duty--"

"Hold on," the woman turned, and called softly because of the baby, "Shego? A sheriff is here for you."

"Deputy," the deputy tried to explain.

"Let him in, Alice," the green woman said, coming towards the door, "I have nothing to hide from the police."

"Deputy, Ma'am," he repeated when the door was opened, "from the Marshall's office."

"And what can I do for you?" she asked beckoning him inside. "Has Kim Possible been arrested for violating the restraining order?"

"No, Ma'am." He reached back and pulled out one of the all too familiar envelopes with the court papers.

"Thank you, officer," Shego smiled as he tipped his hat and went out the door. The smile vanished as soon as the door closed. "Damn it," she snarled, "what is Kim trying?"

Alice looked shocked, "Your language!"

"Oh, get off it. You don't care what I say, and you aren't going to report a little profanity - not good for your story. And I am quite sure you're delighted to have another lawsuit in the mix, aren't you?"

The middle-aged woman nodded her head. "Well, let's see what we have," Shego said, ripping the envelope open. The pale green woman read silently for a minute, then folded the court papers back up.

"What does it say?" the nanny asked. Shego handed her the papers and the woman glanced at them quickly, then started smiling.

"You don't need to look so happy," Shego complained.

"But you're right, it will make a great story. Headlines tomorrow will be **More Lawsuits Filed in Kigo Case**."

"I wish they'd stop calling her that."

"Hey, it fits headlines better than Catherine or Kitty. People will want to hear this one."

"Hold that thought, and check Kitty's butt. I'm going to call my lawyer and see if they can do this. You can call your bosses after I have an answer from him."

While Alice put a fresh diaper on the little person Shego found her lawyer. "Sam? … Yeah, it's me, I just got served with a lawsuit. … No, not her. Her parents are suing. They claim I'm unfit as a mother and they want custody of Kitty. Can they do that?" There was a long silence in the apartment, with Shego grunting the occasional, "Okay," or "Uh-huh."

"Well," Alice demanded as she handed the baby to her mother.

"Call your bosses," Shego said, "you got your damn story. Apparently there are a lot of pro-grandparent's rights groups out there. They'll probably be pulling for the Possibles. There is a slight chance they could win and take her from me. Tell your bosses I admit I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I'm sorry for them. I admit mistakes. Tell them I don't think any parents who let their kid run wild, the way they let Kim run wild, have any business saying I'm unfit to be a mother. Ask if the Possibles admit making mistakes."

"Oh, it's going to turn ugly!"

"You really don't have to sound so damn happy about it!"

"Sorry, it's what I live for."

While Alice got on the phone to alert her employers to the need for new headlines Shego sat in a rocking chair and nursed the baby. Between kisses on the top of the little head Shego cooed, "They're not going to get you. I may not be the best mommy for someone as special as you, but I won't let them take you."


	9. Chapter 9 A Good Theory, Blown to Hell

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 9 - Another Good Theory, Blown to Hell **

"You don't look so good, Kim."

"Thank you, Mr. Obvious. Look, Wade, it seems like Shego is keeping two steps ahead of me in everything that's happening. I'm having trouble sleeping 'cause I'm worried about what she'll be trying to pull next."

"I hate to be the voice of reason here, but maybe it's time to let things play themselves out."

"No, I just need to get a line on whatever she's up to. Do you really believe she is going legitimate?"

"I… I'm not sure. She's got too much media attention at the moment to make a move without it hitting headlines around the world."

"She's up to something. I know it, and you know it. I want to know what she's planning. I want to know what she's thinking. I want to listen in when she talks with her lawyer."

"Not a good idea Kim."

"Please, Wade. I'm asking as a friend."

The young genius sighed, "Okay. Not a good idea, big time. That's my free professional advice. But it would take an expert to trace my tap. When do you want it?"

"Would ten minutes ago be too soon?"

"I'm not going to listen in on calls to her family. I think Hego and the others are legit, but if there's a call to her lawyer--"

"You'll call me and let me listen in with you?"

"Exactly."

"You rock, Wade."

Kim got her first chance to try and get ahead of Shego later that day.

"Sampson Brass and Associates, how may I help you?" the male voice answered the phone. Wade hit a button and the Kimmunicator in her pocket went off. Kim had it out and turned on before the final beep sounded.

"Hello, this is Shego, I--"

"Can you come in to the office some day, Miss Shego? I'd really like to have your autograph."

"Is that you, Guppy? I can probably manage it. I'd like--"

"It would mean a lot to all of us here. You're the biggest celebrity the firm has ever handled and we all think you're great."

_"Will you cut the flattery and get her on the phone with her lawyer,"_ Kim thought, annoyed by the lack of direction in the phone call.

Shego's laughter sounded over the phone line. Not a hard, mocking laughter, but rather a soft almost musical tone that gave Kim a thrill she couldn't understand. After the misery the pale woman had been through it was good to learn she could laugh again.

"I'll be sure to come in with barbecue for the whole office after the trial is over. I really appreciate the way you've all been part of the team. But is the big boss in? I'd like to talk with Sam if I could."

"No problem. I'll have to put you on hold for just a second."

Kim tapped her foot impatiently, this call had better be worth the aggravation.

"Hello, Shego?"

"Yes, is there anyone in your office?"

"No."

"Good, 'cause this is dynamite." Shego's voice lowered to a conspiratorial hush and the hairs stood up on the back of Kim's neck. "I'm only going to repeat it once--"

"Wait, if you repeat it once aren't you saying it twice."

"Will you stop being so damn literal? Anyway this is going to end the court case once and for all. I need to tell--"

"Okay, Shego," a different male voice came on the line, "the call has lasted long enough. We've confirmed the tap and traced the source to a Load residence--"

"That would be her flunky Wade. Are both of you listening in? Hi, kids, meet Officer Sullivan. Guess what, illegal wiretaps are a criminal offense. See you in court."

"The tap just cut off."

"But there is enough evidence for a conviction, right?"

"There should be no problem with that."

**Kim Possible Arrested**, made evening broadcasts across the nation that night, and front page articles across the country the next day. At his desk in the Oval Office Karl smiled, it had completely bumped the accusation that the Attorney General of the United States had driven a Volvo dump truck over seventeen US Attorneys from the Post's front section. The charges against the AG were ridiculous anyway; he had been driving a Chevy at the time and only hit three.

---

"Mr. Load," the judge announced at sentencing. "Despite your youth, your impressive academic background has made the court willing to treat you as an adult. Nevertheless, while you are guilty of illegal activity I will consider the fact this is a first offense for you and allow for the possibility you were misled in your actions. There is a five hundred dollar fine. Should you appear before me again I will not go as easily on you."

Wade nodded politely to the judge, "Thank you, your honor."

"A word of advice, young man," the judge continued. "Avoid getting between these two women."

"I think that is very good advice, your honor."

"Now, Miss Possible?"

"Yes, your honor?"

"I am going to overlook the fact you encouraged a minor to commit a criminal act. But in addition to setting up an illegal wiretap on Shego's phone it appears to me that you demonstrate a blatant disregard for the restraining order she has placed on you. This is not your first violation of the restraining order. Because of the good you have done in the community your sentence is only seven days in the country jail and a two thousand dollar fine. But if you violate that restraining order again you will not get off so lightly."

Kim pressed her lips together tightly, but said nothing. It appeared she would be missing a lot of allowances.


	10. Seeing You in Unfamiliar Places

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 10 - Seeing You in Unfamiliar Places**

Kim's seven days were spent in the county jail, a place which made the run-down flat in Havana look posh in comparison. She was able to bring in a pile of books; at least she'd be able to catch up on some reading. 

Ron came in to see her during afternoon visiting hours. "I was going to bring you a hacksaw blade inside a burrito," he told her. "But I got hungry and ate it."

"You ate the burrito?"

"No, the hacksaw blade. High in iron, low in fat."

Kim smiled, wondering if anyone but Ron could have gotten a smile out of her.

There was in another woman in the women's detention area Kim's first two nights. On the third night Kim was roused from her sleep by a noise at the cell door.

Her guest startled her, "What are you doing here," Kim hissed.

"Doh, I'm picking the lock. We need to talk for a minute and this is a good time."

Shego pulled the cell door shut behind her and sat down on the metal bench bolted to the wall. She gingerly rubbed her stomach. "Breaking into this place is almost as hard as breaking out. Or maybe it's just that my abs won't be back in shape for a long time."

Kim propped herself up on one elbow and stared at Shego, "I repeat, why are you here?"

"I needed to talk with someone about your bastard--"

"Don't call her that!"

"She's my daughter, your bastard," Shego spat. "You dumped me, remember?" She fell silent for a minute, closing her eyes and wondering how to continue. Finally she spoke, "Look, I figure I'm not a fit mom--"

"Got that straight."

Shego glared at her, "I want what's best for the kid. And being raised by single mom like me with the media watching her like she's a freak is not what's best."

Kim was silent for a moment, "So what are you thinking about doing?"

"I'm not sure. I sure as hell don't want your parents raising her -- not after the job they did with you. Maybe I can find some way to put her up for adoption where she won't know who her parents are… Where nobody will know who her parents are. I don't know… What's it like to know you're adopted? I figure if other kids know they make fun of you, but hell, kids have been bullying other kids for a long time. Poor kitten would probably have it worse growing up with just me. Either everyone knows about us -- hell, that will get her treated like a freak. Or I move to some place where no one reads newspapers to raise her and she asks me to tell her about her daddy."

"You really care about her, don't you?"

"Yeah, kinda weird, isn't it? I couldn't wait for her to be born so I could get rid of her, but now that she's here I don't want to."

"What do you want to do with your life?"

"Hell, I don't know the answer to that one either. Dropping out of Team Go sounded good years ago, but the life of crime isn't as fun as I thought it'd be. With the pardon I can go anywhere again without looking over my shoulder for you…" She wished she hadn't said that, but Kim seemed to miss the implications.

"Going to get a job?"

"Maybe, I don't know. God, Kim, being a celebrity pays better than crime. Do you know how much money I've made since the kid was born? I wouldn't have to work -- but I think just sitting around would drive me crazy."

"Who could tell the difference?" Kim asked with a smile.

Shego grinned back, "Point for the redhead. Seriously, Kim, the money is another issue. I'd like her to have most of it, but put her up anonymously for adoption with a couple million? That would get the creeps wanting to adopt her. And if people know where the money is coming from she's got the whole freak thing. And I want her to have all you'll pay in support… I don't know if you have to pay if I put her up for adoption. And I want you to pay. But I don't want her to know --"

There was a sound of a door latch and Shego hit the floor and rolled under the bunk. Kim casually tossed the blanket over the edge of the cot so that it covered the pale woman as the policewoman looked in. She noticed Kim was still awake, "Are you all right?"

"Just fine."

"Sorry we had to hold you."

"You're just doing your job," Kim prayed the woman wasn't in the mood to be chatty.

"Okay, just holler real loud if you need anything."

"Thanks, good night."

"Good night."

With the sound of the latch clicking Shego crawled out from under the bunk, "They were never that concerned about me," she complained.

"You aren't exactly local hero," Kim said.

Shego refrained from pointing out that the fact Kim sat in jail raised questions about whether the redhead still deserved the title or not. The pale green woman just wanted up off the floor, and had trouble getting up. She would be uncomfortable for weeks after giving birth. Finally Kim extended a hand to help her.

It felt like an electric current ran through the pale woman's body at Kim's touch. She stood for a minute, enjoying the sense of Kim's hand in her own. "Are you okay?" the redhead asked.

Shego dropped the hand and quickly sat back down on the bench, "Yeah, just fine. Thanks. Any thoughts?"

"I'm not a lawyer. Can you set up an escrow or a blind trust or something?"

"I'm no lawyer either. I guess I should have talked with one instead of you."

"No, I appreciate any company, even you. And thanks for asking. Tell me, how is she?"

Shego's face lit up with a smile, "She's beautiful, Kim. She's got your eyes and she already has a laugh that… None of your damn business."

The two women glared at each other for a minute, the conversation clearly having died. "Don't the door hit your ass on the way out." Kim punctuated the sentence by rolling over in her bunk and closing her eyes. In the morning Kim wondered if it had been a dream. And she wondered if she should have told the policewoman of Shego's visit, although she wasn't sure of the penalty for breaking into jail.


	11. Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 11 - Sweet Dreams Are Made of These**

Shego began showing up in places other than the news, she seemed determined to take advantage of her celebrity status while she could. The first television ads for Skimpole's Gyms featured Shego talking with Harold Skimpole about the need to get back in shape after having a baby, and how she joined to lose weight. The reality, of course, was that she would be paid a nice amount for her ads, and a new one was taped every week to show what was possible as Skimpole's Gyms. The increased membership at Skimpole's would more than pay the money for her endorsement.

By picking her appearances and endorsements carefully she tried to cultivate the image of a fundamentally decent person who had fallen upon hard times and wanted to work her way back to respectability.

Kim's notoriety grew in proportion to Shego's media exposure to a point where her parents asked her to move out.

"You're throwing me out?" she asked in amazement when they brought up the subject.

"We're not throwing you out. We're renting an apartment for you to stay in until the trial and some of the media attention is over. We're tired of tour buses parked outside waiting for you to get home," her mother explained.

"And you're welcome to come home any time you want for supper," her father added. "Just, uh, wait until after dark and use the back door, please. We love you Kimmie, but life has gotten too weird here since Catherine was born. I think you'll admit that."

Life certainly had gotten strange. Her parents bought any magazines they could find with articles on their granddaughter and were working on their second scrapbook.

Jim and Tim objected to Kim moving out for the duration. They made good money selling souvenirs and interviews to the paparazzi who camped out across the street and saw a valuable source of revenue drying up if Kim left.

Kim's bags were loaded into the car while it was parked in the driveway, and she was very publicly driven to the other side of town. Kim's move didn't constitute 'news' however and only a few friends and the reporters who no longer watched her house were aware of the change.

A few short months ago her own apartment would have seemed exciting to her. Now it was simply lonely. Monique and most of the girls she knew were forbidden from visiting by their parents. Kim could still see them in public places, like the mall, but she always drew such a crowd her that many of her acquaintances avoided her. Ron's parents had faith in her, and he would have been allowed to visit anytime he wanted, but he had left town soon after she got out of jail, on some family business in Norway.

---

Shego engaged in a desperate struggle with herself to avoid calling Kim. She wasn't even entirely clear why she wanted to call the redhead. Sometimes she wanted to gloat. Sometimes she wanted to tell Kim about what Catherine had done that day. Most of the time she just wanted to hear the sound of the other's voice.

Finally, on a night when sleep evaded her completely, Shego lost the struggle and called Kim's cell phone. It wasn't picked up immediately and Shego considered hanging up; finally a half awake voice mumbled, "Hello?"

"Kim, is that you?"

"Huh, who is… Shego?" Kim looked over at the clock, two in the morning.

"Yeah, sorry princess… I, ah, couldn't sleep. Too busy thinking about you."

"And if you couldn't sleep you saw no reason to let me sleep right? Besides, I'm not allowed to talk to you."

"The court said you couldn't call me. There is no restriction on my calling you. But if it's a bad time that's okay. I said I'm sorry."

"No, that's okay. I was awake anyway. I had to answer the phone."

Shego chuckled, "I like you half-asleep - you're silly. Is it okay to talk with you for a minute? Will we wake up your parents?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. I made a bad play in baseball."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I got thrown out at home."

"Seriously?"

"Well, I don't know how serious it is. Paparazzi had camped out in front of the house. Mom and Dad wanted some privacy and rented this place for me."

"But they love you so much… That just doesn't make sense."

"I blame a woman with pale green skin for my… Well, it's my fault too."

"I really am sorry. Maybe I should just let you sleep."

"No, it seems like there are whole days when I don't talk with anybody. I'm glad to have someone who'll talk with me -- even you. You may be the only one willing to talk with me these days -- you and the reporters. And I sure don't want to talk with them. Wait, is this some new trap?"

"No trap, I just wanted to talk… Will you talk with me?"

"I guess so… Damn it, Shego, what do you want?" There was silence on the line, finally Kim repeated her question, "What do you want?"

Shego answered softly, "I want you pumpkin. You're all I've wanted for years. Being with you always makes me feel alive. God, if I could be with you now I'd show you how much I want you…" There was another long pause before she took a deep breath and continued timidly, "Can I tell you what I'd do?"

"Sure," Kim murmured. 

"I lean over to you, and say 'thanks for letting me talk with you'. Our lips brush ever so lightly; you aren't sure if it was a kiss or an accident. Was that okay?"

"I, uh, guess so."

"Well, you didn't push me away. I give you a soft kiss."

"I'm…"

Shego took hesitation for invitation and plunged recklessly ahead, "I'm holding you now, kissing you hard. Do you like it?"

"Ummm," Kim responded.

"I open my lips, my tongue is licking your lips. Will you let it in your mouth?"

"I guess…"

"God, I love the taste of your mouth--"

"I'm putting my tongue in your mouth."

"That's the spirit. While our tongues are exploring my fingers are finding the buttons on your pajamas. You don't even notice what I'm doing, because it feels like I'm trying to suck your tongue out by the roots.

"I'm putting an arm around you," Kim told the pale woman. "My hand is sliding down your back to your ass. I was watching your commercial with the elliptical trainer. God, your ass looked hot. You're getting back in shape fast."

"Ohh, compliments will get you anywhere," Shego told her, "you're making me wet. Am I making you wet? I want to check. You wearing pajama bottoms?"

"Yes."

"What kind? Drawstring? Elastic? What?"

"Drawstring."

"I'm pulling the knot undone. I'm reaching down inside your pajama bottoms. Be my fingers, Kim, reach down."

"Ohh, yeah," Kim moaned.

"Not so fast, Princess," Shego warned her. "I'm going to tease you for a little while. Spread your legs just a little for me… A little more… That's right, now gently run your fingers around your inner thighs. While I'm doing that my lips have moved down from your lips to your throat. I slowly lick my way up your throat, from collarbone to chin. You're still just circling with that hand in your pajama bottoms, right?"

"Ummm, right."

"Good girl. I wish I was really in bed with you. My mouth is on the middle of your throat, sucking, I put my palm down on your crotch… Not too hard, I'm sort of rubbing in a small circle and moving my hand up and down… Are you doing that for me?"

"You're driving me crazy."

"Good… Oh, my middle finger just slipped into your slit. I think I'll see how wet you are while I'm there… Hmmm, how far back can I slide it?"

"OOOH!"

"That far, huh? Feel good, Princess?"

"Feels wonderful…" Kim was breathing more heavily.

"Keep your finger there in my place for just a minute," Shego told her. "Work it in and out, not too hard and not too fast. We're going to be in bed for a little while. And while my finger is working in and out I'm starting to kiss my way down your body. Oh, looks like I left a bruise on your neck… I'll try and be more careful next time. I'm kissing and licking my way down between your breasts. I love your, tight, hard stomach. My tongue is circling your navel, oops can't help myself -- I gently nip you on your tummy."

"I moan and grab your head," Kim gasped. "Please, please what's next?"

"I'm working my way down your stomach now. I pull my finger out as my tongue traces its way around your pussy." She could hear Kim panting over the phone. "I'm putting my thumbs on either side of your lips and I'm spreading you open. I'm looking for your… Oh, there it is. I'm putting my lips together and blowing a little stream of air on you. Rub it very, very gently if you want."

Kim gasped as she touched herself.

"God, Kim, you're wonderful. I don't know what to do next. Maybe I'll just flick my tongue across your button a time or two to hear you moan." The small moan from Kim sounded completely genuine. "Or maybe I'll just massage it for awhile with my warm, wet tongue… Drinking in the taste of you while your fingers are tangled in my hair, pulling me down into you."

Kim was whimpering now.

"Oh, you showed me how you wanted it in China… I'll… I'll… You dumped me Kim!"

The phone in her hand went dead and the dial tone started buzzing as Kim stared at the phone in amazement. _ "She sure knows how to kill the mood."_

In her own apartment Shego stared at the phone in her hand, she hated herself. Kim had tried to play nice with her. For the very first time Kim had tried to play nice with her, and the memory of how Kim had hurt her killed it. She felt like her own worst enemy; she'd let her own anger and frustration hurt her as much as Kim's rejection. Shego put down the phone and picked up the remote. Her tears were not going to let her get to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12 Three Ring Circus

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 12 - Three Ring Circus**

After a night without sleep and the early morning phone call to Kim Shego spent the day sitting in the rocking chair, staring out the window for long periods while holding Catherine on her lap. She sometimes varied the routine by staring into Kitty's emerald green eyes, eyes so much like Kim's it hurt Shego to look at them, and yet she couldn't stop herself. The phone call was a mistake she told herself. Even if there were no legal repercussions she wasn't sure what she would do when she saw Kim at court next week. How could she have been so stupid?

Why was she even here in Middleton? Wouldn't it be easier to just move somewhere and drop out of sight? She didn't need the money, she could live comfortably on the accounts she had hidden away. She told herself it was not that she wanted to see Kim. She hated Kim for ruining her life. "No," she whispered to Kitty, "forgive me for saying you ruined my life. Not you, her." Shego's mind continued to wander, her infatuation with Kim was the biggest mistake in her life. She knew she needed to walk away from it, and yet she couldn't.

Kim slept in late the day after the phone call, and spent the rest of the day in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She didn't have anywhere else to go and no one to see. Why was she so frustrated by last night's phone call? Why had she even started talking with Shego instead of just hanging up? And she had participated in the phone sex game… She must have been too tired to think straight… _"Think straight,"_ Kim laughed to herself. She always had serious trouble thinking straight around Shego. Whenever she was around the older woman she found herself with ideas that didn't belong in her head about another woman. Shego's call had left her dangerously close to confessing that confusion. Half a dozen colleges had accepted her. She'd change to whichever school was the furthest away from wherever Shego chose to live and go there so she would never have to think about Shego again… Except for the child support checks… And if her parents got custody of baby Catherine then Kim would never have a chance of forgetting the pale green woman… Kim wanted it all over, and had no idea how she could face Shego in the courtroom next week.

---

Judge Pepper hadn't noticed when the initial paternity suit hit his desk. A law clerk first drew it to his attention and his initial response had been to dismiss it completely, but he hesitated; Sampson Brass was strictly a small timer in the Middleton legal community, but he wasn't a bad lawyer. The judge felt like he owed him the courtesy of a call before dismissing the case.

"Sam? Judge Pepper. I just looked at your paternity suit against Kim Possible. I was wondering if you could tell me what in the hell you're thinking before I throw it out?"

"You want what I'm thinking or my client is thinking?"

"Either… No, give me both."

"Well, I'm not completely clear on what she wants. She's some old enemy of Kim's. Maybe she thinks it will make Kim look bad -- but she's just going to make herself look ridiculous. Still, everyone is entitled to his or her day in court and if she wants to file the suit I think it's important for me to follow it through."

"Cut the crap, Sam. You want the billable hours. I'm disappointed that you're handling a nuisance suit. I'm dismissing."

"Please, don't. Business is a little slow right now--"

"You're defrauding your client! You're billing her for a suit you know will lose!"

"She wanted to file it. She insisted. I warned her it would be thrown out. She's said she'll pay for an appeal!"

"She really said that?"

"Really. I warned her that a hoax would backfire on her. She claims this is for real. I figure she's probably crazy and when the evidence comes in she'll just drop out of sight. If you dismiss the suit her appeal might just raise the profile on the case. You can't do anything about the suit until after the baby is born. I suggest you just let it sit on your desk for now."

Sampson Brass had been wrong in his prediction that it would be ignored if left in legal limbo. Judge Pepper told himself he should have dismissed it then, even if Shego won her appeal, it would be some other judge's worry.

Now, a couple months later, Shego was pardoned and back in the US, and a long list of medical experts were willing to testify that Kim was the baby's 'father' based on the genetic evidence -- even though not one of them had any explanation of how it was even possible.

Judge Pepper dreaded next Monday. He couldn't imagine any scenario which didn't make everyone look foolish for participating in such a case.

By the Friday before the trial a battalion of reporters had besieged Middleton. The judge refused to issue any statement about the suit. The lawyers refused to issue any statements, and their clients both listened to their legal advisors and said nothing.

Several medical experts who would not be testifying at the trial were happy to confirm the findings and offer their own speculation about how it happened. Two delivery room nurses were willing to talk about what a beautiful baby Catherine was. Mego, like a virus during the influenza season, seemed to be everywhere at once. He claimed to be in town to offer moral support to his sister during the trial, but spent more time promoting his own book. He hoped to parley the trial into an interview on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Bonnie Rockwaller did almost as many interviews as Mego. Between Mego defending his sister and Bonnie tearing down her old rival Kim wished Ron was back in town or Monique had been able to give more interviews.

Vendors sold a range of tacky souvenirs, some of which had only a marginal connection with the trial. The tackiest item for sale, however, was directly linked to the trial; a t-shirt took the prize for poor taste. On the front it featured a picture of Kim and her motto: **Kim Possible: She Can Do Anything**. On the back it featured a picture of a very pregnant Shego.

Monday morning dawned clear and beautiful, but far more people wanted to spend the day inside the courtroom than the limited seating allowed. Trials of the century only come along about every five years, and this one was slightly overdue. Court TV and two other cable channels and a major network all petitioned to broadcast the trial, but lawyers for both sides declined.

Neither side wanted a jury and Judge Pepper drew a sigh of relief. His nightmare had been that the farce would drag itself out for weeks. Court was called into session, and the bailiff read the complaint. The judge turned to counselor Brass, "I assume you have a battery of medical personal who will say that genetic tests prove Kim is the father."

"Yes, Your Honor."

"Good. We'll start with them in a minute. And you," he said turning to counselor Vholes, "will have medical experts waiting to disprove their claims?"

"No, Your Honor."

"No?"

"No. We are willing to concede that Kim is the parent of the child in question."

Sampson Brass rose to his feet, "That's fine with the plaintiff, Your Honor."

"Well, it's not fine with His Honor," Judge Pepper snapped. "I want a medical expert I trust to explain in words I can understand how a baby can have two mothers." He looked over the bench of doctors. "Dr. Woodcourt, can we swear you in to explain what happened?"

"Uh, sorry judge. I can tell you about how the baby's DNA reflects Kim and Shego, but none of us know how it happened."

The judge sighed, "Well, I'll settle for what you can do."

At the end of Allan Woodcourt's testimony neither lawyer wished to redirect, so the judge asked the questions himself.

"And you really believe the sample was not contaminated or manipulated in any way?"

"We were all extremely careful."

"I have to ask this, did money influence the evaluation of the DNA evidence in any way?"

"Your honor, there must have been ten of us. We represented every position in this case and I was there just to see the hospital work was done. It didn't matter who paid our salaries, we all found the same thing."

The judge looked at the bench of medical experts, "Any one want to dispute that?" The doctors and technicians all nodded their heads no. The judge actually felt happy for the first time in months. The trial of the century might be over in one day.

Counselor Brass put Shego on the stand to make her case.

Shego dwelt on her loneliness, how she felt Kim had taken advantage of her, how Kim was the only person she had sex with for years.

"Are you going to explain how this happened?" the judge demanded.

"Isn't it enough it did? I've made the claim, Kim admits it, and the DNA evidence proves it. Isn't that enough?" The pale green woman realized the judge wanted the answer everyone else wanted. If Kim just kept her mouth shut there had to be some way to make money on that curiosity.

Her lawyer continued his questioning, holding up a copy of the Tattler with the picture of Kim standing over a hurting Shego in the Havana apartment, "And then, after leaving my client pregnant, the defendant sought her out in Cuba and threatened her."

"Ah, actually, no," Shego spoke up.

"No?" her own lawyer asked in disbelief. What was going on with Shego's testimony?

"No, Kim did not come to Cuba to threaten me," Shego told the judge and the reporters frantically recorded her words. "She came to see if I was all right," Shego admitted before starting the lies. "I had a camera taking pictures and caught that image when the baby kicked. I sent it to the papers to draw attention to the case. I didn't want to hurt Kim's reputation -- but I hoped if the public heard about what was happening I might get a pardon."

Sampson Brass was at a loss on how to continue, "Then did Kim ever threaten you?" he asked in bewilderment -- remembering Kim sitting with Shego at the mall.

Shego smirked at Kim, "Kim was never a threat to me. Even when we were fighting for real she was never a threat to me."

Kim flushed and rose from her seat, "Threat! You want threat? I'll--" before her own lawyer grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down onto her chair.

Shego had a satisfied smile. She'd told the 'truth' on the stand and showed herself a 'good girl' and Kim had lost her temper.

Sampson Brass, frustrated by his own client deceiving him, announced he was through with questions and sat down.

"Do you wish to cross-examine the witness?" the judge asked Bob Vholes.

"Uh, yes your honor," he said. Like Sam Brass he wasn't sure what either woman was going to say or do. He asked some general questions about how long the two had known each other while he tried to figure out a good angle to pursue. Kim beckoned him over and whispered something in his ear. He didn't like it as a question, but realized he had nothing better to ask.

He turned to the witness stand, "So, you and my client had sex without any precautions?"

"I think the answer to the question is with the nanny this morning." The answer brought some laughter from the spectators.

"Did you, in fact, tell my client that sex without any precautions was safe for the two of you?"

"Object your honor. My client could not have known Miss Possible would leave her pregnant."

"Over-ruled, you will answer the question young woman."

"Yes," Shego said softly

"I didn't hear that."

"Yes," she repeated louder.

The judge called a time out, "Am I to understand you are both idiots who didn't realize that children are a consequence of sex?"

"Your honor," Sampson Brass reminded the judge, "Our clients are both women."

The judge closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This case gave him a headache. "Any further questions for this witness?"

"No." "Not at this time." they answered.

"There will be a ten minute recess while I take two aspirin."

After the brief recess Kim took the stand.

"You admit having sex with my client?"

"I've been admitting it since I asked my lawyer not to dispute the medical evidence."

"Ah, yes. That's true. And your sole defense of your behavior is that she made the perfectly reasonable assumption that two women could not have a baby?"

"No!"

"No?"

"No. I feel like she seduced me."

Shego cleared her throat noisily and Kim blushed. "Well, the first time we had sex I feel like she seduced me."

"So you had sex on more than one occasion?"

"Well… I'm not sure how you define occasion. It was only the one night, but it was three times that night."

Shego coughed again, politely. "You turned me down the fourth time!" Kim snapped.

"Counselor Brass," the Judge warned, "will you kindly tell your client to suck on a cough drop? And tell her to leave the questioning of witnesses to the lawyers."

"Yes, your honor." Sam Brass was finding it difficult to develop a coherent line of questions under the circumstances. "Now, where was I…" he asked himself more than Kim.

"I was saying I was responsible for my own actions," Kim said.

"Wait," Shego interrupted, "you admit you're responsible for your actions?"

"I'm responsible," Kim snapped back, "are you?"

The judge rapped his gavel. "That's two strikes, young lady," he warned Shego. "Three and you're out of here."

Still looking for directions the lawyer tried again, "This happened in China, right?"

"China, yes."

"Why were you in China."

"Well, I, uh, went there to fight her."

"To fight her?"

"Yes."

"And you ended up in bed with her?"

"Well, it was cold! And I was wet, and I didn't have a place to stay

"So the woman you went half way around the world to fight took pity on you and let you stay with her?

Kim hesitated before answering, and in that moment of silence Shego's voice could be heard, "I let her do a hell of a lot more than that."

Kim turned her attention to Shego, "Well, you started it."

"You came half-way around the world to see me!"

The crack of the judge's gavel brought silence to the courtroom. "This is the most insane trial I've had in all my years on the bench. My _prima-facie_ inclination was to simply dismiss this case as a hoax. The medical evidence compels me to keep it open. The defendant is offering no coherent defense. Both plaintiff and the defendant refuse to offer any version of how this is even possible. And the plaintiff seems more interested in trying to humiliate the defendant than dealing with issues of child support. I am adjourning this case for the day. I'm probably going to adjourn it for longer than that."

He turned to the opposing counsels. "I will not continue the case until the two of you have determined on a clear direction -- whether it is about custody or support. I will not have your clients here airing dirty laundry about the other's sexual practices."

"Your honor!" Kim and Shego objected together.

"You two will sit down and shut up," the judge instructed them. "You've both hired reasonably good lawyers to keep you from committing errors in the court room. You will listen to them. You should have hired someone to keep you from committing errors earlier--"

"Your honor?"

"Mr Kenge, what is your interest in the case?"

"I represent the Drs. Possible, Kim's parents. We have a filed a lawsuit seeking custody of their grandchild."

"They recognize the baby as their grandchild?"

"Yes, your honor. They don't dispute the medical evidence."

The judge rolled his eyes and muttered a quiet, "Oh, hell," then addressed Shego and Kim's lawyers. "You will include any lawyers from Kenge and Carboy in your discussion. Let's get this all taken care of at once."

"Your honor?" Seven men and women in the front row of the spectators arose.

"Who the hell are you?"

"We represent various publishers, radio networks, press syndicates, and a movie studio that have options with one or more of the parties involved in the case."

The judge turned to lawyers Brass and Vholes, "As the legal representatives of Miss Possible and the woman called Shego, do you want to meet with them too?"

Counselor Vholes looked over to Sampson Brass, who shrugged his shoulders, "I guess so, your honor."

"Good. Now--"

"Your honor?" a man in the back row asked.

"Yes, who are you?"

"Well I just heard everyone else saying it so I thought I'd try."

The judge sighed and turned to the bailiff, "Throw that man in irons. Heat the oil to boiling after lunch."

A hush fell over the courtroom as the bailiff went back, and brought the amateur comedian up before the court clerk for identification. "Uh, your honor," the bailiff began. "The gas jet is broken under the big pot. We can't currently boil him in oil."

"How much will it cost to get it repaired?"

"About a hundred dollars."

"You, hundred dollar fine for contempt of court," Judge Pepper ordered. "If anyone else wants to show disrespect we should have the gas jet working soon."

Those who had tried cases in Judge Pepper's court before smiled at the running joke. Those who didn't know the judge adopted a nervous silence.


	13. Chapter 13 Amicable Settlement

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

**Chapter 13 - Amicable Settlement**

Hawdon, Dedlock, and Vholes had more office space and a larger conference room than Brass and Associates, so the meeting was held in the offices of Kim's lawyers. Jeff 'Conversation' Kenge, from Kenge and Carboy attended in the name of Kim's parents and their suit. The media lawyers had been reduced to four by the time all the lawyers, along with Kim and Shego, gathered for the meeting.

It quickly became apparent to Kim and Shego that their attendance at the meeting was superfluous; it appeared their destinies would be shaped with virtually no consultation in regard to their wishes.

The two women sat opposite each other at the end of the table furthest from the door, while the lawyers clustered at the other end. Bob Vholes asked if either wanted anything to drink before the meeting began, and Shego requested a bottle of water.

While waiting for the water Kim said stiffly, "Thanks for admitting you set me up in Cuba."

"No problem," Shego remarked. "Just being honest. _I_ believe in honesty." Kim rolled her eyes. "You really mean that about admitting responsibility for your actions?"

"I'm a lot more responsible than you'll ever be!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! I--"

"Your water," counselor Vholes said, handing a bottle to Shego. The two women sat quietly as the lawyers at the other end of the table decided their fates.

The pale woman took an occasional sip of water as the lawyers discussed them. It hurt to sit so close to Kim and say nothing, she desperately wanted to stare, but feared getting caught. She did her best to watch the redhead without being obvious.

Bookshelves lined the walls of the conference room and Kim glanced at the titles of the sets of law books with little understanding of what they contained. She was sitting close enough to Shego to smell the perfume pale woman wore, orange blossoms and jasmine. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, bringing the scent of the older woman inside her.

Kim felt that Shego was watching her, but whenever Kim looked directly at her Shego turned away. While they tried their best to ignore each other it became increasingly difficult. Some thought that 'Conversation' Kenge, the lawyer for Kim's parents, had adopted his style in order to increase billable hours. Those who knew him personally realized he suffered from a serious birth defect - he was born with no brake on his tongue.

The lawyer's drone was finally more than the redhead could take. She decided to find a way to occupy her time. Kim slipped off a shoe and stretched out her leg, lightly brushing her foot against Shego's leg. The pale green woman was visibly startled, but said nothing. Kim, who had been ready to apologize for the 'accident' if Shego said anything, softly brushed her foot against the older woman's leg again. Shego said nothing, but a smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

Kim grew bolder, sensuously running her foot up and down Shego's calf. The pale woman closed her eyes, the smile on her face growing broader at Kim's touch. Kim glanced down at the men and women at the other end of the table, lost in arguments with each other and quite oblivious to the two women who had started it all.

Kim adjusted her chair, scooting it closer to the table, then stretched out her leg again. Slowly her foot traced its way up Shego's leg, starting with the ankle, then gliding up the calf. Ever so delicately she slipped her foot along Shego's inner thigh as far as she could, then rubbed it back and forth, stroking the inside of the pale woman's legs.

Shego initially looked startled that Kim was boldly going where no man had gone before, or at least none had gone recently, then quietly adjusted her own chair, moving it closer to the table and repositioning her own body; sliding slightly forward instead of sitting against the back of the chair. Kim smiled at the invitation and looked slightly away from Shego to avoid being obvious if any lawyer looked their way. Shego kept her eyes closed and Kim heard little changes in her breathing as Kim's toes and foot moved ever so slowly deeper between her legs. Kim reached the older woman's panties, and her toe began to very gently move in a small, circular pattern. Shego's breathing was deeper, almost a moan, and she was trying to scoot even further on her chair when Kim suddenly withdrew her foot and slipped her shoe back on.

Shego's eyes shot open, "What?" she demanded loudly, drawing the started attention of the lawyers at the other end of the table.

"Payback!"

"Payback?"

"Yeah, it's a bitch."

"So am I," Shego snarled and launched herself across the table. Kim's chair went over backwards and the two women rolled onto the floor.

Their lawyers got up and ran back to see what was happening. They looked on, shocked, as Shego hit Kim repeatedly in the mouth -- with her lips. Shego's right leg was between Kim's, and in an effort to escape her hold Kim desperately rubbed herself against Shego's leg. Trying to distract Shego, Kim reached up and grabbed Shego's blouse at the collar and pulled suddenly down - ripping the fabric and tearing off buttons.

The lawyers watched in horror, "Call the police," Sampson Brass told Bob Vholes.

The women broke the wrestling match between their tongues for a moment, "Don't call the police," Kim gasped.

"Get the hell out of here," Shego barked.

"But--"

"Get out!" Kim ordered as Shego lips closed on her neck, "Oh, God, yes! Hurry, get out!"

Before they could leave they saw Kim fumbling one handed with Shego's belt, trying to get it (and perhaps other things) off.

"We'll continue this meeting in the hall," Bob Vholes told the other lawyers.

"The hall?"

"Out, now!" Sampson Brass ordered. "Our clients want a little, ah, privacy."

Kim's foreplay had left Shego in no condition to last long. As soon as Kim had her stripped the younger woman reached between Shego's legs and the pale green woman was gasping in minutes as she climaxed.

That didn't end the fight. Shego rolled Kim off of her and quickly stripped the redhead. "God, you're wet," Shego exclaimed as she slipped two fingers into the younger woman. Neither knew, nor cared, if it was the foreplay with Shego which had gotten her horny or bringing the other woman to a state of arousal. And it didn't matter…

While the conference room door was not technically soundproof the law firm had made certain it was thick and heavy enough to protect the privacy of conversations conducted there in normal tones. Kim's scream came through the door clearly to the lawyers standing in the hallway. Bob Vholes knocked on the door, "Are you all right? Can I come in?"

"NO!" both women yelled together. "Leave us alone," Kim added for emphasis.

"Sounds like you may have lost a client," Sam Brass commented.

"I don't think it will effect my case," 'Conversation' Kenge told counselor Brass.

The media lawyers said nothing. While the turn of events seemed surprising they saw no reason for it to interfere with the contracts their companies had signed with Shego.

Shego lay flat on her back on the floor, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Her head was cradled on Kim's left arm. She turned slightly to look up into the redhead's eyes.

"You're not going to deny you wanted that, are you?" Shego smiled as she brushed a strand of red hair from Kim's sweaty face.

"I don't think I can deny that," the redhead admitted.

Shego basked in the joy she felt for a minute before growing stupid. "I love you," she blurted out. Kim hesitated rather than answering, and the pale woman feared she had scared her. "I'm sorry." I shouldn't have said that."

"That's okay," Kim said slowly. "I told you. You confuse the heck out of me. Sometimes, after one of our fights, I'd come home and masturbate as I thought about the fight…"

"When you thought about the fight, or about me?" Shego teased, wanting to turn the conversation away from her confession.

"Huh?"

"I'd hate to think trying to knock my head off is foreplay for you."

Kim giggled and snuggled closer. Her hair tickled Shego's nose. "Everyone always tells me I'll find the right guy and settle down. You're not the right guy Shego. But I've never experienced anything like this before. I don't understand it."

It wasn't what Shego wanted to hear. But having Kim in her arms, talking with her, was more than she could have dreamed of this morning.

When Kim snuggled closer it brought her breasts within inches of Shego's mouth. The pale woman resisted temptation, "Do you want to settle down?"

Kim thought just a minute before answering, "No, I don't."

"Then maybe you don't want the right guy either. Maybe what you need is the wrong woman."

Kim giggled, and the jiggling breast, so close to her mouth proved too strong a temptation. Kim moaned as Shego's warm mouth closed on her nipple and sucked it to puffy stiffness

Shego broke off sucking to stare at what her mouth had done, "I always wondered about that. It was almost like your tits were pointed when we used to fight. I thought you had some weapon in there designed to puncture me."

"Don't say that," Kim said, her voice taking on a serious tone.

"Ohh, why not?" Shego teased, her fingernails gently raking Kim's other breast to produce the same puffy effect.

"I was always self-conscious in gym class, always felt bad because my breasts hadn't filled out the way they had on other girls. Bonnie used to make fun--"

"Shut up about Bonnie, whoever she is, and any other girls," Shego told her softly. "I think they're perfect. I think you're perfect." She emphasized her opinion by kissing Kim.

When they broke a minute later for air Kim asked timidly, "Do you remember what you were talking about on the phone the other night?"

"I'm not sure… I'm sorry I lost my temper."

"You were going to use your tongue on my--"

"Oh, yeah," Shego gave her an evil grin. "You're a screamer, Possible. Let's see if you're any louder when I use my tongue."

Even though it was new to Kim and a little awkward she insisted on returning the favor at the same time. Kim was still trying to position herself as Shego spread the redhead's lower lips wide. Kim shuddered with pleasure as Shego gently blew on the sensitive nub. Then Shego tongue flicked out, barely brushing Kim's clit and the redhead moaned loudly. Kim felt like she wasn't doing her part and forced her tongue inside Shego.

The older woman gasped and stopped her efforts for minute, "Not so hard Kim! I don't like it as rough as you."

"Sorry," Kim mumbled as best she could.

Kim screamed even louder as Shego sucked on her clit exactly the way she had asked Kim not to do to her. Twice, in fact. Kim refused to give up, however, and had a sense of triumph as Shego began to gasp, then spasmed and grew limp beneath her.

The hall outside the conference room had been deserted. The lawyer for Kim's parent's had returned to his office at Kenge and Carboy. The lawyers for Kim and Shego still had their clients on billable hours, but had moved into Bob Vholes office in order to discuss a possible joint book agreement. A paralegal for Hawdon, Dedlock, and Vholes helped the media lawyers find outside lines in order to call their clients.

Back on the conference room floor a very content Kim repositioned herself on an equally content Shego while the older woman's fingers softly explored the body of the younger woman. Shego's efforts were rewarded with little purrs of happiness from the redhead. Neither cared about the passage of time.

"My dad used to call me Bubble-butt when I was a baby," Kim sighed. She regretted saying it the moment it slipped out; that was the sort of revelation that could haunt a person for years. But Shego seemed in no mood to take advantage of the slip, she simply kissed the top of Kim's head and continued using her hands.

"Uummm, Shego?"

"Yes?"

"If you don't stop playing with my ass we're going to be having sex again."

Shego hesitated before replying, "If you're asking me to stop that has got to be the stupidest way of saying it I've ever heard. It makes me want to do this--" Shego punctuated her remark with a move that brought a moan from Kim's lips. "Or maybe this," Kim's whimpers brought a smile to Shego.

"Not now. God, can we try making love sometime without fighting first? Can I find out someday if I really like you?"

Shego took her hands off Kim's rear, "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Kim said, lifting her face and kissing the older woman, a long gentle kiss that left Shego with no doubt of Kim's sincerity.

"Tonight?"

"Tonight… Maybe. But only if you can get the restraining order off me. I don't want to bring our lawyers along, or get arrested."

"But if I remove the restraining order you can get as close to me as you want, anytime you want… God, why did I ever want to take out a restraining order against you?" Shego laughed. She didn't really want to move, but finally admitted, "We'd better get out and let them have their meeting room back. I'm going to have a serious case of rug burn if we try a third round on the floor."

The pair got up and gathered their clothing.

Flashes went off when the two women emerged, smiling and disheveled, from the conference room. Shego was using one hand to keep her blouse closed, since Kim had only left a single button in place.

"Shego," a reporter asked, "what about you and Kim Possible?"

"We're, uh…" Shego hesitated, unsure how to answer the question.

"Hoping to settle the suit in an amicable fashion out of court," Kim suggested.

"Miss Possible, your parents still have a lawsuit filed against Shego. Will you be supporting them or Shego?"

"I'm hoping that I can persuade them to drop their suit as well."

"Did either one of you just get knocked up?" someone called. The question was ignored.

"Are you and Kim an item?" someone else shouted at Shego.

"I don't know how to answer that. Kim?"

"We're exploring our relationship," the redhead answered.

Shego's response to Kim's answer was a smile which left the younger woman stunned. Shego's smile was beautiful, and the redhead suddenly realized she wanted to see it more often.

"You need to excuse Shego," Kim apologized. "but she doesn't have time for an interview just now. She's going to ask the judge to remove the restraining order against me, then introduce me to my daughter. And what we do after that is none of your business."

---The End---


End file.
